I’m having a late-college crisis. I don’t think I like journalism anymore. I mean, I like so many aspects of it; I like the news, I like what the media does, I like seeing news happen. I just don’t think I like reporting anymore.
I’ve already done everything I’ve set out to accomplish. I’ve been published in several major newspapers, people from places I didn’t even know existed have contacted me about my articles, my stuff has been linked, hell one of my articles was even used as a source for another article.
But I can’t see myself doing this forever. Everything I’ve done in the name of journalism has sort of been a means to an end, either a passing grade or a matter of getting respect, or whatever, I’ve received all that. I can’t see myself in this world anymore, with deadlines getting increasingly impossible, the pay getting worse and worse as people in my field settle for less and less, job cuts everywhere you turn as workloads grow rapidly, like I’m running on a treadmill and any misstep could cause me to fall on my face and ruin it all. I don’t want to run on this treadmill anymore. Maybe I want to be in a secure job, where I don’t wonder each day how I’m going to find stories and sources, and where I can go a whole week just being calm.
The thing that’s sparking this? My International News Gathering class. Everyday I wonder how I’ll make it through the next day. It’s tough for me, but not so tough for others. So it’s making me wonder if I’m cut out for this. I’ve gone through bouts of this before, where I just hate journalism and want to shut the whole world away, and usually it follows with me creating an amazing product and being glad I stuck with it. But this time, I think I’ve really gotten sick of it.