Day 3 and 4 of Vietnam: Charlize Theron and pork-eating pigs

It’s getting harder to write these entries. I don’t have a lot of free time, and it takes a lot of time to choose and upload the pictures and then write the text. But as long as you are reading these, I’ll be writing them.

This chronicles Day 3 and 4 of my Vietnam trip. Since it’s two days, this entry won’t be necessarily in chronological order.

The first thing we do each day is eat.

After that first day, we no longer eat at high-class restaurants.

We now eat at restaurants that sell cell phone accessories:

(That’s my mom above)

Sometimes we eat at restaurants that are basically in someone’s garage:

And the food is served out of a cart…

I am kind of surprised I haven’t had to take those loose bowel pills that my doctor prescribed me yet.

On these two days, we did a little shopping. We went into this indoor bazaar where I got ripped off by a punk. (By the way, I didn’t take pictures of this place because the vendors all had “No Pictures” signs on their booths/stands. Jerks). Well the first little stand that we went into, I saw this little wooden keychain shaped like Vietnam that I liked. My mom and I asked how much they were and the guy said, “5.000 VND.” So I chose one, and when I went to pay, he said, “No, I said it was 20.000 VND” even though my mom and I both heard “5 VND.” That was kind of steep for something bought in Vietnam, but being the stupid tourist I am, I bought it anyway. And guess what happened? I found that the booth to it was selling the same exact keychains, but in packs of 10 keychains for 70 VND!!!!! If 20 VND hadn’t turned out to be only 1 USD and the guy wasn’t poor and struggling, I’d be pretty outraged.

In that same bazaar/market, my brother and I went down this scary t-shirt aisle. The t-shirts themselves weren’t scary, but the women selling it were. They were grabbing at us and pulling us toward their booths and shoving t-shirts in their faces. First off, shoving t-shirts in people’s faces is no way to get them to buy it. It might work for other things, but not t-shirts. Second, I wear a Large, and in Vietnam, that’s considered astronomically, morbidly obese (more on this later) and most stores here don’t have my size.

So we left.

And saw another one of these:

For some reason, every time I see a rickshaw here (four times already) there is always a white guy non-obvious Asian in it.

Anyway, next we went to a Vietnamese grocery store and I did one of my favorite things when I go to foreign grocery stores–look for funny products.

Here are some of them:

The picture on this “pork sausage” is gross. The pig mascot is eating a pork sausage. They had the same kind of cannibal thing for their “beef sausage” too:

Next, a Vietnamese diet/weight loss aisle.

Translated, the sign above says “Products for people that are dieting/watching their weight.”  Wait, what? WHAT KIND OF VIETNAMESE PERSON NEEDS TO LOSE WEIGHT?! Someone who wears a Medium, that’s who, Duh, says the Vietnamese voice inside my head.

Next, who wants Geisha fragrance, whose spokesmodels are apparently Charlize Theron and Amanda Seyfried? What will J’adore think when it finds out Charlize has been cheating on it with another fragrance?

And then either on that same day or the next day we went to this outdoor clothing market where, no joke, it looks like all the clothing came from those “Clothes and Shoes Recycling” bins you see everywhere these days in the States. And who are they expecting to buy all these clothes? I don’t have a clever remark about this, just some pictures:

And then we went to Biti’s! It’s the Skechers Nike EasySpirit I don’t know of Vietnam. It’s one of the biggest shoe brands in the country and makes sandals, athletic shoes, dress shoes and all other kinds of footwear.

And…..

Then that night we went to visit an old friend of my grandparents, and the old man basically was drunk and went on a rampage about how I am hugely fat and need to lose weight, not considering that I have a slow metabolism, that I work out like crazy, and that I am taller than most Vietnamese people, and overall it made for a rather awkwardly mean-spirited night.

Then since we were in the neighborhood, my mom took us to see her old house, where I lived the first year of my life. Turns out, it’s now surrounded by a metal cage/gate and the current neighbors say the house has been abandoned for years. Sad.

Stay tuned for the next entry when I blog about my trip to Vung Tau, one of Vietnam’s beach resort towns.

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